I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
