p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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