Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
