Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
