Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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