i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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