i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Can Purell be used as lube?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
