It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I touched a dick in church today
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
