Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
