happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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