This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
