porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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