Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
