i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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