I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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