Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
