So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
