The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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