susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
