you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
It's official drugs can't kill me
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
