well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
