Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
