Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
