This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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