the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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