I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
