I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
