My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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