laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
