I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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