I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
