i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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