Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
