I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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