Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
