So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
