Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Randomize
