i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
