did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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