Its about making memories worth repressing
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
