i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
