fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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