last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
