u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
