What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
