I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize