bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
