The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
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