C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
