life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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