Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize