Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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