omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
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so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
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Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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