I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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