They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
