i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize
