He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
