btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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