you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Randomize
