Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
