Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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